Trying

It took us three months to get pregnant.  In retrospect, we were incredibly blessed to get pregnant so quickly.  That said, when we were trying, three months felt like forever... Mainly because we didn't know how long it would take, or if we would get pregnant at all.  It was truly a blessing to get pregnant so quickly.

For your reading pleasure, our synopsis of our three months of trying.  Somewhere, our parents are really excited to hear about how we were trying to get pregnant for months at a time.

Month One: Clueless

We were convinced we were pregnant the first month.  And why not?  We weren't tracking Elizabeth's temperature.  We weren't using an ovulation kit.  We both skipped every day of medical school.  We had every reason to believe we knew what we were doing.  It made no difference to us that the test came up negative on the day it was supposed to be 95% accurate.  We could tell from all of Elizabeth's symptoms.  Nobody has ever felt symptoms of something that they were not able to unequivocally diagnose with one quick trip to Google.  And at least two different websites said her symptoms could possibly have something to do with pregnancy.

Unfortunately, the websites also said they could have something to do with cancer.  Or Lyme disease.  Or scurvy.  So you can imagine the emotional rollercoaster of the hypochondriac husband when we realized she wasn't pregnant.  Fortunately, our OB/GYN relies on sources such as "his education" and "years of experience," not "the Internet" and "gut feel," to make prognoses.  Sometimes, it's nice to hear the doctor laugh at you and ask "Why are you calling me?"  Especially when he follows his question with "You're fine!  You're going to get pregnant soon!  You're going to be a terrific mother!  Talk to you soon!"

Month Two: Doom N' Gloom

As a side note, I prefer my stylish N's to be seperating words such as "Guns" and "Roses."  But I digress.

After being so sure we were pregnant in Month One, it was really easy to get really scared we would never get pregnant.  We asked a lot of our friends with children how long it took them, and if they were scared after they were unsuccessful the first month.  It was reassuring to hear a wide variety of responses about the number of months it took, and that it was natural to be scared after Month One.  However, that did not make things any less worrisome, or any less stressful.

Neither of us ever really believed we would get pregnant in Month Two, nor did we really believe at any point we were.  We tried to keep our faith up, but we never really felt it.  When we found out we weren't, there was no shock or dismay, but rather a sad feeling of confirmation.  That said, we learned from the experience.  Soon after finding out we weren't pregnant, we discussed how we had approached Month Two.  It was not exactly the outlook a couple should have when trying to bring a baby into the world.  As opposed to being excited like we were in Month One, we were completely focused on the fear of never getting pregnant, and the stress of trying to make it happen.  It made for a miserable time, and in the end, we were back in the same place we ended Month One: not pregnant.  We decided that while it would be difficult, we needed to do everything possible to focus on the excitement of getting pregnant.  If God wanted us to be pregnant, we would get pregnant, so we should be excited about the possibility.  Even if it was never going to happen, we might as well enjoy thinking it was going to each month.  Being stressed wasn't going to help.  And it's a lot more fun to be excited for three and a half weeks and only disappointed for one that spend the whole month miserable.

Month Three: Hoozah!

Somewhat surprisingly, we were actually able to follow through on our plan.  We stayed positive almost the entire month.  Which, of course, led to us looking for signs and being convinced we were pregnant again.  It's fun picking and choosing which experiences to learn from and which to willfully ignore.

We took the pregnancy test the first day we "could."  It promised 51% accuracy, which probably makes my Decision Sciences (read: fancy business school speak for "Statistics") professors froth at the mouth, because what it really means is 51% of the time pregnant women will get a positive result.  That's not really "51% accuracy."  But I guess if it told 49% of non-pregnant women they were pregnant, the product wouldn't sell particularly well.  Moving on.  We took the test.  And it came back negative.  I was devastated.  For the second time in three months, I was certain we were pregnant, and we weren't.

There are many, many, many wonderful things about our marriage.  One of the best is that when she lacks faith, I usually have enough for both of us, and when I lack faith, she usually has enough for both of us.  This was one of those times.  "It's only 51% accurate," she said.  "We should have waited to take it.  I still think I am."  I was back on the We're Preggers train.

That was on Sunday, January 30.  We decided we would wait until the 95% accuracy day, which was February 2.  Needless to say, the night of February 1 was still pretty scary.  And stressful.  We prayed a lot.  We went to bed.  And then...

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