Big Day!

Big day in our house today.  While holding on to his music table, Matthew stood up on his own.  Yay Matthew!!! Yay!!!

Two more new happenings: Matthew claps all the time and now, and every time he wakes up, he's sitting.  And we've seen him do it, which was fun.  Fun for us parents that is.

Rachel McAdams

I rented the movie The Vow starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum.  While this sounds like the worst Saturday night ever for Mike, think again.  If Mike could be with any female celebrity it would hands down be McAdams.  The reason I specify "female" is because if Mike could be with anyone it would most definitely be Matt Damon.

And now for my movie review.  Highly recommend you see it.  Where's the evidence that would be suggest you rent this film?  It's a love story and I wept.  Like a baby.  Multiple times.  Not a great recommendation?  Hmmm...

hi i'm matthew and i'm nine months old yesterday

hi i'm matthew and i'm nine months old yesterday i don't remember being born though even though milklady and shouty say it wasn't very long ago i hope this isn't indicative of a memory problem.

milklady and shouty took me to see dr. stefoscope today it was a good appointment dr. stefoscope told me i am growing well i am still 75th percentile in length i am 29 inches long and even better i am gaining weight i am now 25th percentile weight i am 19 lbs., 0.6 oz. which is nice i used to be 10th percentile now that i am 25th percentile shouty doesn't ask milklady what the naughty word is wrong with me anymore.

dr. stefoscope also said my head is 47.5 cm which is 95th percentile shouty keeps calling me a human bobble head doll which doesn't hurt my feelings because he kind of has a point i but not as much as i would if my head were 47.5 inches like milklady keeps saying my head is big but it's not a globe milklady learn the difference between standard and metric dr. stefocope says i have a big brain hooray.


i also took lots of tests today my lead test came back good because i don't eat paint except when i do i also don't have enough iron i need to eat more metal but i'd rather eat more paint the last thing i did was get a vacuum shot for hep b shouty shouts that i do a good job during my vacuum shots because i don't cry very much.

this post is getting long so i need to wrap it up i have something called a viral rash but dr. stefocope says i'm ok also milklady found me sitting in my crib i did that all by myself and milklady and shouty missed it they think it's bullplop i did it when i was alone but i think it's bullplop they put me to bed when i wasn't tired also i ate a my first cheerio today with just two fingers yummy i like cheerios i wish they were froot loops.

bye bye.

oh wait dr. stefoscope said i could eat citrus today so here is a video of me eating my first orange oh boy why is shouty calling me butterfingers.

Oh What a Drive!

Busy day for Matthew today led to a fantastic family drive home tonight.  Matthew and I had a playdate with Kate and Jack and Rachel and Colin.

Jack (12 weeks), Matthew (9 months today!), and Colin (10 weeks)

As a sidenote, Matthew did gouge Colin's eyes out right before this picture and was actively working to hold Jack's hand during the picture, hence all the arm action.

Matthew chose to not nap on our car ride to the playdate despite it being his usual naptime and my big plans for our day.  Humph!  He did, however, nap a whole 20 minutes at Rachel's (which truth be told I am glad because it was better than not sleeping at all!)

He then chose not to nap on our way to my parents' house where we spent the afternoon.  Because he loves to play with my mom, he chose not to nap too much there either, an hour in total.  So shortly after Mike met us at my parents house we left to head home.  But FIRST, we had to switch out our cars at the garage where we get repairs because one car was leaving the shop while our other car was spending the night there to get fixed tomorrow.

With a total of an hour and twenty minutes of naps instead of 3 hours, you can only imagine how tired Matthew was.  Thus, the task at hand: Operation Keep Matthew Awake Because If He Sleeps For Even 10 Minutes He Won't Go to Bed Until 10 Tonight.  Chief of Task: Mike.  The ride home involved:

- A robust session of Mike clapping Matthew's hands together, screaming "YAY, MATTHEW!" the entire time.  This is a favorite of Matthew's under most circumstances.  Apparently, he enjoys praise regardless of worthiness and smiles 'til his jaw dislocates while receiving it.  Again, under most circumstances.  Today it was met with a blank stare and a slack jaw.

- A rousing medley of "B-I-N-G-O", "Old McDonald", and "Five Little Ducks".  Blank stare and slack jaw.

- More clapping and fist pumping.  Commence frustrated whining.

- Two minutes of the adults talking.  This ended when Mike caught Matthew's heavy eyes on the verge of closing.

- Bribing Matthew with his sippy cup.

- Maniacally shaking Matthew's rattle while bellowing songs that were literally made up in real-time.

- Constantly pulling Matthew's fingers out of his mouth.  This was met with crying every time, but prevented instant slumber.

And mission accomplished.  Once we changed him and fed him, he was asleep before he was in the crib.

One Day I'm Gonna Do It

Oh boy.  One of these days I'm gonna do what I've been thinking about doing every day for the last 6 months.  Almost every day that Matthew goes down for a nap, I think, "Perfect.  Now I can make that quick trip to...Walgreens, the post office, Whole Foods, Disney World..."  Seriously afraid that at some point I will not remember that I have a child and that this is completely unacceptable.

Funny thing is that this would  not be a first in my family.  Apparently, one day my mom put me in the tub for a bath and then walked out for a minute.  It wasn't until she was outside talking to a neighbor that she realized where I was and that she had left me to put my awesome nautical skills to good use!  I love you Mom.

Clinging and Crawling. Except Not Crawling.

Matthew is going through a phase where, when tired, upset, or content, he just wants to be with Mommy.  Sometimes he gets over it.  For example, today at the mall Matthew only cried for 30 seconds when Mike took him from me.  He seemed to regain composure when it looked like the shopkeeper had pushed the silent alarm and help was on the way.  However, there are other times, such as the morning mealing hour, when it is best Daddy just pass him over.  Matthew will literally turn himself around in Mike's arms and lunge toward me.  He gains the momentum necessary to lunge by forcibly pushing his fist into Daddy's cheek.  Or eye.  Or jugular.  Apparently, this is how you thank the person who just dragged himself out of bed to remove ten-hour old feces that had wedged itself throughout the entire expanse of your butt crack and made its way under your testicles.

Speaking of testicles and feces, Matthew has recently discovered he has testicles.  Unfortunately, he has not discovered the dangers of feces.  Every time we change him, he immediately starts to tug at his balls.  Which would be cute if he didn't get poop on his balls and he didn't like to follow his self-exploration with a trip to the face.  Pinkeye, here we come.

Anywhoddle, back to Matthew's Herculean efforts to evade Daddy and return to Mommy.  You may now be thinking, "Matthew must really be an active little boy."  If you are thinking that, you are stupid, irresponsible and never to be trusted.  Because if there is anything Matthew cares less about than Daddy's feelings, it is learning crawl.

As we probably have already discussed on the blog, Matthew is a World Champion Sitter.  As long as one of us parks him on his can, he can play and/or vegetate for hours at a time; he also can maintain his sit while spinning a full 360 degrees.  Of course, if one of us does not park him on his can, he has zero chance of ending up in the sitting position by himself.  Additionally, Matthew is a transcendent log roller.  He can get anywhere he wants, in any direction, using this strategy.  What he can't do, and apparently has no Earthly interest in ever doing, is learning to crawl.  Or Army crawl.  Or gracefully go from sitting to lying on his stomach.  That said, he does deserve credit for mastering falling backwards and slamming his head into his construction set for reasons unknown.


On the subject of criticizing our son's physical nature, a final anecdote.  Matthew grabs for everything.  This is good, given his age and the desired developmental milestones.  What is interesting is that if the object is not within arm's reach, he immediately stops trying and returns to sitting contently.  No fussing, no crying, no further desperate grasps.  He accepts the situation and moves on.  We are not yet sure whether to be thrilled with his emotional maturity or devastated by his unequivocal willingness to give up.


In closing, neither of us care how long it takes Matthew to walk, crawl or develop sticktoitiveness.  It will all come in time.  The sooner he crawls, the sooner he walks, the sooner he runs, the sooner he leaves for college.  Quite frankly, I am more than happy to have him just sitting on the activity mat, staring slack-jawed at the ceiling fan.

In case you couldn't tell, E started this post and I finished it.  We're all about teamwork in the family.