Hero

I forgot we had a blog.

Thea turns three months tomorrow.  That makes tonight a terrific time to discuss how inspirational I am as a father.  And man.

1. When Thea was a few weeks old, we went to the mall so E could go clothes shopping.  I followed M as he ran around and Mobi-wrapped Thea.

That is the best picture Babies-R-Us could come up with, apparently.

All was going well, aside from the horrible 10-year old on the mall jungle gym slash playhouse who kept shoving M out of his way while his mother made love to her iPhone and completely ignored the monster she spawned, until we went to J. Crew, where M deemed it appropriate to sprint out of the store and into the mall.  I followed until I slipped.  And went airborne.  Somewhere, Coach Harrington beamed with pride as I perfectly football tucked T's head, assuring that she was neither hurt, nor awoken, when I slammed into the wood floor.  I then got up and corralled M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

2. A few weeks later, I was rocking T to sleep.  After 45 minutes of gentle oscillation, I triumphantly carried my achievement sleeping daughter to her crib.  Along the way, the sole of my foot went full force into the sharp wooden couch leg.  I continued walking.  I put T down in the crib.  I returned to the family room.  I tended to the flowing blood while checking to make sure the chunk of flesh didn't need to be stitched back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

3. I didn't need stitches but a year earlier, I shattered a falling glass with my ring finger but successfully prevented the glass from hitting M.  Sliced the finger, severed the nerve and needed five stitches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

4. Finger is still numb.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

5. About a month ago, M was sitting in one of these things

when he decided to turn around and say hi to Daddy, who was in a recliner.  M's chair began to fall over.  Daddy dove.  M's face gently nestled in Daddy's palm mere inches from the hardwood floor.  Daddy helped M to his feet.  Daddy noticed his ankle got caught in the metal springs of the recliner.  There is now a scar there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

6. Game Six, Hawks-Bruins.  T has twice already been put down in the crib only to wake up crying.  I was rocking her for a third time.  Hawks tie it at 2-2.  Seventeen seconds later, the Hawks take the lead.  Fifty-eight seconds later, the Hawks win the Cup.  T keeps rocking.  She is asleep for good in the crib five minutes later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

7. On Saturday, I am carrying M out of the mall, a playing field I championed once before.  Suddenly, my back went out.  I dropped to my knees.  I did not drop M.  A woman asked me if I needed help.  I said "no".  No strange woman needs to help me in front of my son.  E then arrived and helped M in the car and I spent the day laying on/in the floor, couch and bath tub.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ

Replace "we" with "I"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c