Another Milestone

Bean has been caught in action:

Might not look like much but this is the first time I have seen her go from laying to sitting in her bed. It sure is a milestone because when your baby is in a horizontal position when you take her out of bed, for oh 10 months, it is quite a surprise to see her sitting! Once Matthew was able to do this he always did it. Until he could stand. 

Back to Health

In 2004, after graduating from IU and starting work in Milwaukee, for many reasons, Mike decided to stop taking a medication that he had been taking since he was a child. One of the side effects of the medication was decreased appetite. So for the first time in his post-9 year old life, Mike had to learn how to eat. Sounds funny but it was true. Most of us have had years and years to learn about balance and moderation. He was simply accustomed to eating 1 legit meal a day (that could consist of a LOT of macoroni and cheese or hot dogs). Learning how to eat, combined with working tremendously long hours led to weight gain. And when he quit that job and went back to school there was a great couch to be laid on. And when that couch moved to a new suburb it was still quite comfortable. And then we had a newborn. And then we had another one. And then...okay you get it now right? There is always a reason not to do what is so difficult. It can be overwhelming, feel unattainable, uncomfortable, and be exhausting both physically and emotionally. 

In August, Mike and I discussed buying Insanity, a vigorous workout program. I was reluctant. We had already bought an elliptical and take  enough time to do that. I was skeptic that now we were all of a sudden gonna find that time and motivation that had been missing. But after a few talks, I agreed to it. It seemed legit and I could hear the need in my husbands voice. 

He completed the Insanity workout. Sixty days of intense workouts ranging from 40-60 minutes. And after completing Insanity, we ordered T25 and he will have completed that program in 2 days. 

He ate well balanced, nutritious foods almost all of the time (he once ordered a salad with balsamic from McDonalds, I brought home a Big Mac because get serious). He made good choices when we ate out or sometimes we didn't go out. He showed such discipline and self-control. He's very good at the what you want now vs. what you want in the long run thing and I so admire him for that. 

He went to the doctor today after losing all of the weight he needed to in order to return to a healthy place for him. His blood pressure went from normal but borderline high into the low range of normal. We are awaiting the results regarding his cholesterol but I'm confident in what we will hear back (one of the reasons he needed to lose weight was because this was high and the way to reduce it is to return to a healthy weight). His doctor congratulated and praised him for his good work. 

He will tell you that his motivation was to return to health for his family. His family is most grateful. With health you can add years to your life. I can adamantly speak for all of us that we will take ALL of the years we can get and will still long for more. Thank you Mike for working so hard and so consistently to provide this for us. You are the provider you want and need to be to this family. 

A Tooth!

Here is Thea's first tooth! Made it's debut  on January 21st. 

 

Bye-bye gummy smile. Bye-bye. 

Almost!

Thea is getting so close to crawling. She regularly gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. She reaches for toys and food (and paper), showing great motivation to get going! Matthew first crawled around this time so she is following suit. 

Here she is in ready position:

I am aware that this picture couldn't be worse given that it's the back of her head but I didn't want to miss the moment...

hi im matthew i eat from the garbage

hi im matthew i am a good boy who throws garbage in the garbage can when i find it i found garbage the other day and threw it in the garbage can then i saw popcorn in the garbage can so i ate it mmmm delicious bye bye love you titus

Daddies Need Love, Too

One of our favorite times of day--often the best part of our day--is Snuggle Time, which is the last 30 minutes or so before we put Matthew down to bed.  Snuggle Time involves E, M and I getting into bed (our king size bed, not M's toddler bed, which would be mentally damaging to M. And E. And me.) and reading books, followed by singing songs.  It is wonderful.  I think it is M's favorite thing in the world; he asks for it throughout the day and literally sprints from his room to our room after getting his pajamas put on.  I am not sure whether or not we use it as a negotiating chip when he is misbehaving or refusing to be bathed, I like to think it is more of a motivator than negotiating chip.

Snuggle Time often can be up to 45 minutes long.  Almost every night, E and I say "let's put him to bed at X time", only to put him down 20 minutes later because we don't want Snuggle Time to end.  The best nights are the ones that have reading, then impromptu bubble time, then more reading, then singing, then prayers, then one last song for the road.  It's something that E and I will both mourn for when Matthew decides he is too old for it.  But that will be two decades from now so why worry about it today.

If there is anything I haven't enjoyed about Snuggle Time, it is that Matthew plays favorites.  He almost always wants ONLY Mommy to read (E and I literally have to say "Daddy is going to read this one" so that I can read a book; even then, at least half the time he ignores us, takes the book from me, and gives it to Mommy).  He also almost always ONLY wants to snuggle up to Mommy, and will push me away if I curl up too closely to them.  It really makes me feel appreciated for the gifts of life and sustenance I provide.

That said, I am fully aware he's a two year old and means nothing by it; in fact, there are things that he only wants me to do (I blow the bubbles), and there are plenty of times that he makes it very clear he wants to be with me instead of E.  But that doesn't mean that for about a week, I wasn't feeling awfully needy and rejected.  Just like any person I love, I want Matthew to love me, too.  And logically, of course I know he does.  I would never question this.  But emotionally, especially in the moment, I question it sometimes.  And it sucks.  On a personal level, it sucks to feel that way.  On a family level, it sucks because I overcompensated.  I kept pushing for reinforcement.  Not surprisingly, the two year old with no comprehension that we live in a world where people are less than honest in order to spare feelings made his opinion of Daddy constantly asking for hugs and kisses quite clear.  It did not help Daddy's insecurity.

Fortunately, I have a wife who is not only excellent at seeing what is going on, but talking through it.  Like I said, I stopped with the neediness after about a week because she helped me realize there was nothing to be needy about.  My little guy loves me and he wonderfully shows it every day (the reception I get upon arriving home from work, or the store, or walking to the garage and back, makes it quite clear).  She also helped me realize the more important thing, which is the need for us as parents to not teach needy behavior.  It is ok for Matthew to not want to be hugged.  We need to teach him that.  But it doesn't mean we have to enjoy it.

Melt Your Heart Thoughtful

That's my Matthew.  Today's small act of kindness shows you the heart of my son.

After coming home from a visit with my mom today, Matthew came in the kitchen and said, "Mommy, Matthew get it."  I was confused and thought maybe he was talking about a toy or his milk.  But then I heard him open and close our front door and then there he was pulling my diaper bag and a plastic bag of his snow gear thru the house and into the kitchen because I had left those items out there and forgotten about them. 

I am blessed to have him as a best friend.