hi i’m matthew. i’m a friendly little boy who likes stories. i’m going to tell a story about me.
i live in a house with two people. their names are shouty and milklady. i spend most of my days with milklady. shouty is around when i wake up and when i go to bed. i like to play and not nap. when i'm not playing or not not napping i like to cry for reasons only known to me.
i like to watch sports with shouty. we watch indiana basketball together. the only times i have gone two straight hours without crying or playing have been when i was watching the hoosiers with shouty. but one time the hoosiers beat ohio state and shouty shouted and frightened me which made me cry. milklady wasn't happy with shouty.
milklady is my best friend. we play together all the time. she bicycles my legs and breaststrokes my arms which makes me jolly and makes me smile really big although sometimes it makes me fart loudly which frightens me and makes me cry.
milklady and shouty both like to read me stories. i like stories although the 350 words in the books are usually about 330 words too many to keep my attention. i usually just start to stare at a window or a lamp or something shiny. i like windows and lamps and shinys and farting as long as it doesn't frighten me.
i also like to poop. i don't like to make eye contact while i poop but i do like to make eye contact right after i poop and let people know i am happy with my poop. also, i like to get my diaper changed but i don't like when shouty puts on my butthole cream. it is cold and goopy. i have tried to tell him i don't like it many times by farting and pooping on his finger but he keeps doing it anyway. i think shouty might be stupid.
milklady is not stupid, but she is manipulable. a lot of the times i'm not even sad but i cry just to see how fast i can get milklady to come visit me. shouty told me not to be a boy who cries wolf. i should tell shouty that if the boy who cried wolf knew milklady he never would've gotten eaten by the wolf.
i am a big strong boy. i turn 3 months on thursday but only wear clothes for 6-9 month olds. last sunday i rolled over for the first time. shouty's reaction frightened me and made me cry.
ok time to not nap i love milklady and shouty bye bye.
i like to watch sports with shouty. we watch indiana basketball together. the only times i have gone two straight hours without crying or playing have been when i was watching the hoosiers with shouty. but one time the hoosiers beat ohio state and shouty shouted and frightened me which made me cry. milklady wasn't happy with shouty.
milklady is my best friend. we play together all the time. she bicycles my legs and breaststrokes my arms which makes me jolly and makes me smile really big although sometimes it makes me fart loudly which frightens me and makes me cry.
milklady and shouty both like to read me stories. i like stories although the 350 words in the books are usually about 330 words too many to keep my attention. i usually just start to stare at a window or a lamp or something shiny. i like windows and lamps and shinys and farting as long as it doesn't frighten me.
i also like to poop. i don't like to make eye contact while i poop but i do like to make eye contact right after i poop and let people know i am happy with my poop. also, i like to get my diaper changed but i don't like when shouty puts on my butthole cream. it is cold and goopy. i have tried to tell him i don't like it many times by farting and pooping on his finger but he keeps doing it anyway. i think shouty might be stupid.
milklady is not stupid, but she is manipulable. a lot of the times i'm not even sad but i cry just to see how fast i can get milklady to come visit me. shouty told me not to be a boy who cries wolf. i should tell shouty that if the boy who cried wolf knew milklady he never would've gotten eaten by the wolf.
i am a big strong boy. i turn 3 months on thursday but only wear clothes for 6-9 month olds. last sunday i rolled over for the first time. shouty's reaction frightened me and made me cry.
ok time to not nap i love milklady and shouty bye bye.
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