Thursday, June 2, 2011

Mr. Povich Will Have To Sort This Out For Us

Matthew loves when E eats fruit.  He goes crazy in there.  Ipso facto, he must not be my kid.

Unless, as opposed to the happy backflips E thinks he is doing, he is actually convulsing angrily over the fact that he has been force-fed a peach as opposed to the fried cheese he requested.  In that case, he is most definitely my kid.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

"I'm ready for pregnancy brain to go away." ~Mike

I remember nothing these days.  Once conscientious, I am now completely absent-minded.  You might think, "Oh, that's okay.  You're pregnant."  But when your cell phone gets turned off because your wife forgot to pay the bill, you might be less empathetic.  Apparently, I really need that 8% of my brain that goes towards the baby during pregnancy.

Fortunately, this was nothing an egg, bacon and cheese sandwich with a side of Coors Light couldn't fix.  On a school day.  At 11:20 in the morning.  That's right.  I got him drunk.  Off one beer.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Heartbeat of a Champion

Also from yesterday...

Yesterday Was One Of The Best Days Of My Life

That's not hyperbole.  I really mean it.

The representative softball team for the Kellogg School of Management, led by their boyishly handsome albeit technically overweight and impossibly slow first baseman, put their Darden Tournament championship trophy


on the line by playing a three-game series against the representative softball team for the Chicago Booth School of Business.  As you can tell by the festive post-game picture below featuring smiles, arms around shoulders and John Schneider displaying the MVP Award bat he won as a symbol of victory, as opposed to a less festive post-game picture featuring tears, middle fingers and John Schneider using the MVP Award bat someone else won as a tool to commit felonious assault, we did not disappoint.  After choking off a 13-6 lead to lose Game 1, 16-14, we scored six in the sixth to win Game 2, 12-8, and won Game 3 easily, 6-1.


I went 5-for-9 with a triple, two runs and three RBI.  What kind of loser keeps track of his softball stats?  This guy.  Most importantly, I started a six-run rally with a lead off walk.  Walks win championships, baby.

I also played Gold Glove defense at first base.  Below, you can see a picture of me about to react to a line drive that just went over my head.


Oh yeah, we also had the 20-week ultrasound.  Although not a big enough deal to be today's lead story on a blog read by seven people, it was pretty important.  AND REALLY FREAKING AWESOME.  The ultrasound takes about 20 minutes because the technician is making sure that everything is up-to-speed, including brain, skeletal and organ development.  Thankfully, everything went perfectly!  Brain is forming well, heart has four chambers and is beating at a strong 158 beats per minute, spine looks great, 10 and only 10 fingers, two eyes, two ears, one nose, a cleft-free mouth, an esophagus, a stomach, a liver, kidneys, a bladder, two arms, two legs, two feet and a sex organ.  Which, in our first foray into child pornography, is displayed below:


The "C" looking thing in middle of the ultrasound is the legs.  And the little circular thing in between the legs?  That would be a penis and yet-to-descend testicles.

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!  On top of that, a boy who is going to hit left handed and throw a change-up that can get both lefties and righties out.  None of this I can only face one kind of hitter crap like most change-up guys.

"None of my friends know what you're talking about, Mike."

Upon arrival, he shall be dubbed Matthew Jeremiah.

Some more ultrasound pics:

Total miracle.

The spine and above that, the heart.

Our second foray into child pornography.

The face and arms.

Also, yesterday was Friday, which means it is time for the 20-week WBU.  The glowing baby carrier:




After the appointment, we had a great little celebratory lunch date.  We got sandwiches at a shop called Rollin' To Go around the corner from our place.  Pesto chicken for me, meatball marinara for her.  Sweet mercy do I love sandwiches.  Especially when I'm eating them with the world's prettiest pregnant lady.

So like I said, one of the best days of my life.

Friday, May 20, 2011

The One Week From Finding Out WBU

Today is the final day of Week 19...



It may look like she just got out of the shower.  She didn't.  Her hair is actually enveloped in a combination of sweat and 1980's hair product.  She hasn't bathed in days and smells like a dump truck.

We find out the gender next Friday.  Needless to say, we can't wait.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people ask the question, "Are you going to find out if it is a boy or girl?" and then, upon being given an affirmative response, say "Don't you want to be surprised?"

I really wish it was socially acceptable to respond, "Do you know what 'surprised' means?"  One is surprised when one acquires information that one did not have a greater than 50% probability of expecting.  Given that we have no more than a 50% expectation of either gender, the discovery of whether our child has a haha or an inverted haha will, by definition, be a surprise regardless of when we find out.  Waiting until the birth moment makes it no more or no less of a surprise.  I'm glad we had an opportunity to clear this up.

Additionally, I think it is better we keep our surprises, such as what it feels like for E or looks like for me when the newest Schwartz comes racing down the birth canal, to a minimum when the baby is born.  Given the physical and emotional stress beautiful gravity of the moment, it is probably best we learn if our child has zero or two sex organs well in advance.  Like next Friday.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Our Humble Abode Come July One


Front
 
 
Backyard

Backyard/BAGS Location!!!!

Porch


Master Bedroom

Room #2 (putting green carpet will be changed)


Bedroom #3
 
Bathroom

Dining Room
  

In Other Graduating While Pregnant News...

My brother Paul has graduated from North Park Seminary with his Master's in Divinity!!!!  

I am so proud of him as this took years of hard work, dedication, and dependence on God.  This is a shining example to me of God's faithfulness and ability to carry us.  Paul is incredibly gifted at listening and loving others and has gained tremendous knowledge about God, the Bible, and life's most difficult issues and questions.  Paul's willingness to listen and follow this calling is both admirable and an inspirational.  Congratulations Paul!!!

But the congratulating doesn't stop there...Paul and Rachel are expecting!!!!  Their due date is November 15th.